The American Way

I got extra homesick yesterday. And I wasn't even homesick for one place - I was aching for the whole Western seaboard: I miss drinking coffee in the morning with my mom and watching the fog burn off Lake Woahink. I miss taking my brothers and the dog out to the beach for romping in the Oregon dunes. I miss driving to Los Feliz with friends for midnight pie on a Tuesday. I miss Highway 101. I miss pine trees. I miss palm trees. I miss Fall in Alaska.

So today James and I went to the megaplex in downtown Taipei and saw Eagle Eye. Before the movie we ordered Burger King.

Feminism or control freakishness, I don't like men ordering my food for me. If I'm hungry, I can tell you about it myself. But since we're here and I can't talk real good ... that's pretty much what James has to do, every day.

But today I pushed ahead of him at the Burger King counter figuring I could manage "We want two number ones."

The lady behind the cash register waited for me to quit speaking and pointing. Then she turned to James and pressed forward with the transaction.

"Two not six," he said afterward. Turns out I'd said something like "We want six ones." That might've actually been more cheeseburgers than I could eat. But had I been given the chance, I would've considered it my patriotic duty to finish them. As it was, just one Burger King cheeseburger had that familiar overdone flavor and entirely too much mayonnaise.

During the movie some dude behind me kept readjusting his feet on my chair. If we were in America, I would've done a 180 and given him the stink eye. But we're not in America, and I don't know if stink eye is the appropriate means to defend against movie theater feet in Taiwan. Maybe I'm not supposed to ward them off at all?

Back home I wouldn't think twice about busting out my "could you please take your feet off my chair" in my voice that says "if you don't, we may have to throw down outside." But, groan, like it or not, I am representing America over here. And I don't speak Chinese. So I try to keep myself in mild-manners mode. We'll see how long that lasts.

USA - home where I don't mind being a bitch - I miss you.

Five Things I Miss About America

I've been here a week and a half. The homesickness is mostly in check. I miss my family. I miss the O.G.s in Los Angeles (and by original gangsters I mean my wonderful 'SC friends), but I'm enjoying Taiwan too much to feel too left out of the stateside shenanigans. That aside, here's what I'm craving from the homeland:

1. Country music. Yeah, I know lots of you reading this back home wish they would send all the country music to Taiwan. I, however, laid in bed last night listening to this, this and this on my iPod. But I'm adapting and starting to take a secret liking to this.

2. Baby football. My brothers are dominating the 5th and 6th grade bracket for the Central Oregon Coast. I'm so proud of them.

3. Election season. I don't like waking up at 7 a.m. to stream the debates. And no one here wants to talk about it. James has an arsenal of preprogrammed answers for all my political waxings: His eyes glaze, his tongue lolls, "uh-huh," "yep," "I agree."

4. Sweatshirt weather. I'm told there is such a thing in Taiwan. I'll believe it when I see it.

5. The 7th season of The Shield. Okay it got way too soapy in the last two seasons, but I'm not a quitter. I need to know if Mackey gets thrown off the force, or killed, or what.