More Brother Action

Billy told me after the set he signed a few t-shirts as well as one girl's forehead. Should I be worried?

Where did you learn that word?

Ah, now for another post wherein I talk about my students learning the WRONG English.

Every week my reading group learns a new phonics word family. At the start of class today we were reviewing the "ore" family (more, store, etc.)

Me: Ok, class what are some "ore" family words?

Gregory: WAR WAR WAR!

I write w-o-r-e on the board.

Gregory: NO! WAR!

Me: How do you spell it?

Gregory (with supreme confidence): w-h-o-r-e

I wrote the letters on the board as he said them, and there I was with whore written on my English class whiteboard. It was like we were suddenly transported out of the cram school and into an American public bathroom stall.

Me: Where did you see this word?

I tried to ask innocuously, but clearly the "THIS IS A WORD YOU SHOULD NOT KNOW" vibes shone through, because Gregory just smiled with his lips closed and looked shifty eyed. Oh yeah, Gregory is 9.

Me: What does this word mean?

Gregory drew a picture of a glass of wine on the board. Okay, fair enough. We recently learned the "ine" family too, and I taught them "wine" and "whine." So maybe all these things got jumbled in his mind. But boy, did he look mischievous.

This reminds me of when my brother was in fourth grade, and I would tease him by calling his current love interest a strumpet. Not a very nice thing for me to call a little girl, I'll admit. But hey, I'm his older sister, and to me they're all floozies.

After much badgering, he finally asked what a strumpet was. I told him to look it up, which he did, making the same phonetic mistake my Chinese student made:

My Little Brother with the dictionary open: A WAR?

Lost in Translation: Little Bird

This one is from a Chinese class friend. He's an English teacher too, and, like me, often practices his Chinese on his English students.

He was joking with kids between classes last week and used the idiom, "A little bird told me." But he said it in Chinese. But in Chinese little bird (xiao niao) is a euphemism for penis.

He said they didn't even laugh. They just stared at him.

I Would See This Movie

Movin' On Up

Question: What do you call a pair of English teachers, two Mongolians, a Japanese architect, one missionary, and a South African jazz musician clambering up a staircase at 10 a.m. this morning?

My Chinese class on its way to buy the next textbook!

I haven't posted in a few days because we had our big book-number-one Chinese test. I don't know if I actually studied more by not blogging. But I felt I couldn't justify doing anything productive besides studying. In reality, well, I watched a whole lot of Britain's Got Talent on YouTube. Man, that's quality reality.

Our class is on the third floor, after we finished the test our teacher immediately sent us to the 4th-floor office ("Kwaidian, kwaidian!" Quickly, Quickly!) to purchase the next book and we plunged right in.

So now I'm on my second Chinese textbook. I'm feeling pretty big in my britches, like I'm running with the big dogs now. Of course, this feeling will rapidly subside the next time one of my students tells me I talk Chinese funny, or worse just gives me a blank stare.

Friday Night: Nankan

I went back last night to checkout my dancing queen pictures (which Cleo, the bartender who stopped me at the tea stand said she'd email) and I'm so glad I did.

There was a band that did a great version of "Stand By Me." I was even able to request my favorite Dolly song, "IIIIIIIeeeeeeeIIIIIIII will always love..."

We sat down at the bar and James asked Cleo for a Corona. Instantly, a girl in a pleather tube top and mini skirt popped up at his shoulder asking if he'd get a Blue Girl instead. Taiwan's wateringholes are rife with promotional girls.

James looked confused.

"You can get whatever you want," I growled.

I don't know. There's just something about girls in pleather talking to my boyfriend that stirs my inner psycho bitch. I think pleather could see she had rousted the beast, because she laughed nervously and tottered away to the other end of the bar.

I asked Cleo where the deaf chihuahua was from last time.

"Oh he's at home. He lives with Kiki," she said motioning to a waitress. "Do you want to pet a kitty?"

Moments later a 2-month-old cat was placed in my hands by Cleo's boyfriend, Bruce.

Bar or undersized pet menagerie? I don't know.

James and I sat by Bruce most the night. He proved just as friendly as Cleo. Bruce told us he's completing his required military service down in Miaoli (Central Taiwan) and counting the days until he can return to Cleo. He gave the impression being away was fairly torturous.

Miaoli is 96 kilometers from Nankan, or roughly the distance from Los Angeles to Riverside. That hardly counts as a long-distance relationship by my American standards, especially when you have Taiwan-style mass transit. But hey, Bruce is in love.

So do you want to marry her? I asked in Chinese.

Yes of course. He replied in English.

Awhile later pleather girl risked another appearance and asked James to sign up for a drinking game to see who could down a beer the fastest with a straw. James was no match for Nankan's finest.

From City Music

There was a runoff between the two fastest drinkers, this time they also had to finish a slice of watermelon.
Gross.

Game face. In it to win it.

Then people started to dance. When the owner beckoned me to join "C'mon Dancing Queen!" I did for awhile.Later a couple guys, with just a little prompting, got down to their skivvies on top of the bar.

At the end of the song they jumped off.

"Him." Bruce motioned to one. "Next time, I think maybe him no clothes."

From City Music

Sure enough, hence my last entry, the one got butt nekkid. And as far as I could tell, with my insufficient Chinese, no one asked him to do this.

We meant to only have a drink and see Cleo's pictures. But we didn't get home until 3 a.m.

So worth it.

Hero for One Night Only (NSFW)

Have I told you I love living in Nankan?

Gan bei and goodnight.