Ivan the Budding Xenophobe

I can't lie, I have a few favorites, and 4-year-old Ivan is one of them. But on Friday he dashed any illusions I might have had that I am his favorite too:

During class, Ivan turned to one of the other students and said: "I don't like meiguoren."

Now, the truth is he probably didn't know how to say Americans in English. But the mischievous grin on his face told me he also thought I wouldn't understand him.

Me: WHAT?! How come? Why don't you like Americans? Why don't you like meiguoren?

Ivan: I don't like. I only like Taiwanese people.

Me: Why?

Ivan: Because Taiwan people is so cool.

Me: How come you don't like Americans?

Ivan: I don't like speak English.

Me: No?

Ivan: I only like speak Chinese.

Me: But WHY don't you like Americans?

Ivan: Because Americans is ... Gang-Gang!

All the other students laughed when he said this. I didn't know what "gang-gang" is, but thankfully one of the Chinese teachers walked in.

Me: Teacher, what is gang-gang? Ivan said he doesn't like Americans, that Americans are gang-gang

Teacher: Oh it's just a word they like, it was in a move last year, some movie you know at the museum one night-

Me: Night at the Museum?

Teacher: Yes, that one! Someone said gang-gang in the movie. And now they just like to say it.

When she said "gang-gang" my students burst into gales of laughter and "gang-gang"s. From the way they said it - and from what I remember of the movie - I deduced that the "gang-gang"er was the Easter Island head that harasses Ben Stiller throughout.

And that's what Ivan thinks of me and my countrymen.

Have it noted, this is the same kid who grabbed a lock of my hair a month ago and asked, "Teacher, why so ugly?" Of course, I did the sensible thing, grabbed some of his bangs and replied, "No, no, why so ugly?"