What to call the children of Taiwan?

I was warned before we left the States not to talk local politics. Tina said in Taiwan people only talk politics with fellow party mates. Back home most of us would prefer to talk only with fellow party mates since we're all convinced the other side is a dangerous lot of misinformed charlatans. However, my girlfriends and I can trade "Obamaphile" and "Palin-ho" barbs and still love each other dearly. That's probably because in the U.S. our politics revolve around little things like taxes, health care and immigration. None of us disagree on something so crucial as what country it is that we're living in.

If that were a point of contention in America, our national legislative sessions might be more akin to the parliamentary smackdowns Taiwan has. Taiwan has two mainstream political parties: the Democratic Progressive Party which is pro independence, and the Kuomintang which seeks eventual reunification with the mainland. Beijing considers Taiwan a renegade province of the People's Republic of China.

At the FCC meeting I attended, a reporter leaving Taiwan for a job in Beijing told a story about riding in cabs in Taipei. She talked about chatting up cab drivers and how they would say, "Oh your Chinese is so good, how long have you lived in China?" And she would always reply, "I've never lived in China, I've only lived in Taiwan."

"How long did it take to get thrown out of the cab?" someone else quipped.

It was a joke, but that's how deep it runs. Some here object to the National Palace Museum on grounds it's too Chinese-centric, that Taiwan should be concerned with its own culture. And plenty of people here wish to be called "Taiwanese" not "Chinese."

That brings me to my moment of in-classroom political idiocy: I was talking to my students about national origins (e.g. "He is from America. He is American." "He is from Thailand. He is Thai) when I got to Taiwan.

"And you, my students, you are from Taiwan. So you are uhh... Taiwanese, right?" The moment I said it, I wished I hadn't. My 11-year-olds tilted their heads to the side, looking confused. No one corrected me, but no one readily agreed either.

Politics aside, it wasn't accurate. Here Taiwanese refers to aboriginal groups and Chinese native to the island prior to the end of World War 2, when 2 million mainlanders fled to Taiwan. Those people are Chinese, not Taiwanese. It's an ethnic distinction.

I am from America. I'm American. My students are from Taiwan. They are ... going to have to figure out the rest on their own. And if they're lucky, their teacher wont inflict them with more of her ignorance, or at least no more than they're used to from her.

The Culture Convo

I've been here exactly one month and one day. This morning I had a nice online chat with a friend whose parents immigrated to the U.S. from Taiwan back in the day. Here is a truncated version of that conversation:

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Friend: What up, how's the motherland?

Me: Dude, I've been meaning to ask you ... Why are there no tampons here?

Friend: Because my people don't use them. I think they think it's really taboo to, you know, insert. Ha ha.

Me: That's so crazy.

Friend: How's the culture shock?

Me: Mostly people are really polite, except they talk about weight and money more than Americans.

Friend: OMG, tactless - I know. How do people dress?

Me: Mmm, Japanese. Layers.

Friend: You see, I have no idea about Taiwanese culture because my parents are ancient and they immigrated when Taiwan was all conservative. My parents were strict about dating growing up because Taiwan was conservative when they were young.

Me: I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16.

Friend: I wasn't allowed to date until I was done with college. But like, my dad was really serious about it.

Me: Out of college?! Your dad didn't really want you to be that socially maladjusted.

Friend: I dated of course, I just never introduced my parents to anyone.
Me: Weird. Yeah, I don't really know what the norm here is now.

Friend: The next time someone asks you what you weigh you should ask them when they lost their virginity.

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Probably the most entertaining piece of advice I've received on living in Taiwan. I'm saving it for a boring day...