What I Missed Out On

I took Spanish when I was a middle schooler, but of course in the States my teachers always spoke English too. As a matter of fact, I took Spanish off and on from age 13 to 21 and never had a native speaker for a teacher. There's something wrong with that. It's not like there aren't enough first-language Spanish speakers to go around in America.

But what I really missed out on was never getting to be a 12-year-old kid in a class with someone who didn't understand my native language. Can you imagine how wickedly fun that must be? I got a little peek at what I missed Friday night during one of my cram school classes. My kids' main teacher told me to review the last two chapters with them, they had no questions, they were hungry, and I was having a hard time staving off torturous boredom for their sakes and my own.

Then I spotted Michelle, in the third row, rapidly moving her pen cap off and on. She was grinning at Cavey who sits opposite her. In response, Cavey pretended to fellate himself.

"Alright, knock it off!"

Ah, to be 12 and have everything at your fingertips suddenly seem like ripe material for a sex joke. Plus have an authority figure who doesn't even know what you're talking about (unless you make the mistake of playing charades) - that's priceless.

I figure I can't act too upset - though I doubt they pull this with their regular teacher. But I figure if I did a big song and dance about how inappropriate that was for class - well, that would just alert them as to how lucky they are to be in a class where they could play the penis game, or whatever the Chinese equivalent, and my only reaction would be, "Speak English!"