Insufferable Gambling Wench Pt. 2: Desktop Wars

I wrote about her first here. She is my employer's sister and thus feels entitled to use the school's office computer for online gambling at her pleasure. This is the second in what I fear will be an ongoing series of altercations with her.

She walked in just as I finished printing test evaluations for my 4-year-olds.

Test Evaluations. 4-year-olds. Absurd, no? Don't blame me, I just work there.

Anyway, I'd just finished doing what I needed with the computer and was stapling everything together - still seated at the computer - when the haggard old queen walked in. She didn't look at me, didn't address me, didn't say anything. She just sat down across from me and swiped the keyboard out from beneath me.

It was a gesture of stunning rudeness. And I'm fairly sure it was intentional. I think she was attempting to flex her power over the desktop because I dared ask to use it for work while she gambled last week.

Alright, leatherface, it's on. I will gladly test your iron grip on this old, slow, almost-worthless piece of machinery.

She took the mouse and started to close out of the documents I was using. And just as swiftly I planted my thumbs and index fingers on the corners of the keyboard, looked her in the eye, and smiled.

"Could you please give me just one minute?"

She doesn't speak English, but my intentions were clear.

She jumped out of her seat and ran over to the phone. I saved everything I needed and closed all my documents. As I did this, she barked into the receiver in Chinese that I couldn't understand.

I think she lunged for the phone so she wouldn't have to stand around empty handed while I finished my business. By the tone of her voice it crossed my mind she could be tattling on me, but I think the chances of that are slim. The owner is absentee, he lives in Shanghai. What's she going to say? "I was trying to get my gambling done and your employee insisted on finishing her work before I commandeered the computer."

It took under a minute for me to save and close everything. I turned around and smiled, motioning to the computer.

"Okay. All yours."

She didn't smile back.

She's been on the computer every day, morning and afternoon, this week. Sometimes I walk by and catch her using the mouse with one hand and picking her nose with the other, quite the multitasker. Nose picking isn't as taboo here as it is the States. But it's mostly older people that do it. Nose picking and guanxi. She must believe in the old ways.

I understand and admire the importance family connections play here. But no family connection, no nothing should entitle someone to use business equipment for pleasure at the expense of employees (she doesn't work at the school, she only comes to gamble). All my coworkers walk on eggshells around her. I'm not going to.

The Good, the Bad and the Guanxi

Who you know is important everywhere. From high school through college, my educators were always extolling the virtues of "networking," which sounded like something complicated that would require a spreadsheet. Eventually someone explained to me "networking" just meant keeping in touch with people - especially fancy people.

Here they call it guanxi. I doubt Chinese teachers spend nearly as much time harping on the "who you know" buzzword. No lessons required; it's a cultural given. Guanxi isn't something that might give you an edge in the world. When it comes to social interaction, guanxi is pretty much the whole enchilda.

Guanxi has worked great for me in some instances. It helped me find work. It also scored me a ticket to a fashion show at the Formosa Regent.

This billboard is at Zhongxiao Fuxing Station. I give it a little thumbs up when I change trains. The guy standing next to the flat screen is James' mom's best friend's brother. He is Taiwan's most famous stylist and he's a judge on Taiwan's version of American Idol. He is the reason I had the opportunity to salivate within arm's length of women swishing by in Dior and Cartier. I don't know him, but I like him.

However, guanxi has worked against me too. Take for instance this morning at school: There was a woman, maybe in her 60s, occupying the school office computer. I've seen her around. She never interacts with the kids, but she spends loads of time in front of the computer. Maye she's an administrator? I thought.

Today, after my class, I needed that computer to edit the test my students take Friday. I finished my rice bowl, drank some soup, but this woman was firmly planted in front of the computer. I didn't know what she was doing, but I could tell from the screen it wasn't work.

"Umm, excuse me," I said with my biggest, most wonderful smile. "Could I please use the computer for just two minutes? I need to type something for my students."

I knew she might not speak English, so I said this while motioning to my hand written notes and pointing to the computer.

There were several Chinese teachers in the room as well as the teacher from Vancouver. The old lady, looking incredulous, spouted off some Chinese to one of the teachers. Everyone - Chinese teachers, old lady, and the Canadian - looked at me like I just crapped a turtle.

Vancouver yanked me out to the library and explained my grave error.

The woman, she said, is the school owner's sister. She doesn't speak English. She comes in as she pleases to use the school computer for online gambling, and no one has the cojones to boot her off.

"I've waited days to type something up because of her." Vancouver said.

"That's bullshit."

"Yeah. I know."

"I'm not doing that."

I don't get paid for preparation time, and the test is saved on the office computer, so it wasn't something I could do at home. The old broad left as Vancouver and I finished our pow wow, so I got to edit my test and skedaddle.

Guanxi or no, I'll find a new job before I waste my afternoon waiting on anyone to wrap up Black Jack so I can prepare for class.