I've done terrible things

Before I started elementary school, I went to day care. Not pre-school, no hoighty-toighty early education foolishness. I spent my first six years playing.

My parents were adamant: I had a whole lot of school ahead of me, there was no need to get started while I still needed naps.

I went to an amazing day care. The day care provider, never call her a babysitter, had turned her downstairs living space into a 4-year-old's Shangri-La. There was a Tyco kitchen set stocked with fake food, a little nook with big bean bags and walls of picture books. And the toys. There were so many toys.

In the winter we put on our snowsuits and rode tricycles in circles on her second-story deck. In the summer we packed into the minivan and sampled all the playgrounds she could find in the Anchorage area.

When my mom pulled into the driveway each morning, I would run, leap, skip, bound inside - because day care was super-duper fun.

Now I spend my mornings with little kids. But they don't play much. They learn.

I try to make it fun. We have games, we role play, we sing songs. But we still have to learn. We have to learn because every four weeks they get tested. And if they don't test well, I'm in it deep. And while I would really like them to have a fantastic time in my class, I would rather get paid.

The number of words and sentences they have to memorize each week is such that I simply must sit them down and teach for part of the class. We can't just play. I have to tell them to be still, quit wiggling - okay, what is the picture on this flashcard?

Sometimes I have to be stern with them. Why? Because they're doing what 4-year-olds do: They're twisting in their seats and muttering to themselves about choo choo trains, and ghosts, and other things much more interesting than Teacher Leslie.

This week I was given a new story book for them to learn. They'll be learning it until February, the supervisor said. Great, then I wont get started on it too early, I figured. That's a looooooong time to read "My New Pet is the Greatest."

This week at the teacher meeting she told me she was concerned about how little reading my class was doing.

So today I saved the last 15 minutes of class to read the book. When I was halfway through the story, the supervisor burst in.

"Teacher, teacher, if you read that much they can't memorize."

"Oh."

"And they have to memorize."

"Oh."

"If they don't memorize their parents will call."

In stead of finishing the story, we spent the remaining time memorizing the first few pages.

My kids are rid of me in the afternoon, but I know what they do then too: science. They're happy kids (mostly), but they aren't having near the fun that I did when I was their age. I wish I could write letters to their future selves: "Sorry I made you sit still and be good so much of the time. I was just doing a job."

My aunt sent me four, shiny-new Dr. Seuss books this week. I'm going to have to be creative, and maybe a little sneaky, in figuring out when I'll read them to my boys.

I always knew Asian and American education philosophy was vastly different. But it's been bewildering seeing that contrast illustrated before my eyes.

Needless to say, developed Asian countries are way, way ahead of the U.S. educationally in some ways. It's shameful how much money the U.S. has funneled into education, and yet American kids still score in the bottom rung of developed nations in math and science.

The only answer I've ever heard to this criticism is "but Americans value creativity and independent thought. Maybe we don't know multiplication, but we come up with fancy ideas!" And everyone knows fancy ideas are the building blocks of a robust economy.

I always knew this was somewhat true. But it seemed like a flimsy answer. Can't we be independent thinkers and learn math? Besides, there are creative people all over the world. Bring on the algebra!

I'd still like to see my countrymen learn to count, but I can't poo poo that creativity thing either. When you have kids spending their formative years memorizing select story books, filling up endless workbooks, and drilling flashcards - that takes a lot of time. Time that could be spent figuring out the world the way 4-year-olds do naturally. It's time that could be spent playing.