Fun with Fat Kids

In America, making fun of a fat person is not okay (or not to their face, at least). Americans don't make fun of fat kids because we're afraid we'll hurt their feelings.

But here, kidding the fat kid (or fat adult) is seen as a good time for young and old alike. It's not done in meanness, Chinese people just think fat is hilarious. Every fat kid in each of my six classes has been called out at one time or another for his paunch.

And when I say fat kid, I don't mean neckless and obese like you see some (too many) unfortunate children in the U.S. My fat kids are all just stout little boys who will probably become strapping young men once they're through the puberty business. They're boys who probably wouldn't reach the bar for fat kid in America. But that doesn't stop their peers and their teachers from laughing at them.

"Aaron is so big. He like to eat too much," cackled a Chinese teacher at my pre-school. She puffed out her cheeks to demonstrate. She was standing over Aaron at the table where the students were having lunch as she showed me.

"BORIS IS VERY FAT! WILSON VERY FAT!" a 15-year-old girl in one cram school class announced, giggling, in class one day.

"Hee hee, Gregory is so fat." Judy said to me this week.
Judy is a very sweet 10-year-old. Gregory is 7. Judy mothers the younger students at the school, I've never seen her do anything mean to anyone.
Judy rubbed Gregory's tummy and said something in Chinese.
What did you say? I asked.
"I told him he cannot have baby because he is not girl."

What surprises me as much as the jokes are the fat kids' reactions. I've never seen anyone upset. Mostly they smile, some pat their tummys, some look pleased to be noticed for something. It's not a big deal. Still, I am always at a loss for what to do. My American ways are too ingrained for me to laugh along. A couple times I've said, "nu-uh! He is not fat!" because, for serious, the kid really isn't fat, he just isn't skinny either. Or I say, "Hey be nice!" for lack of better words.

But I don't think that's the right approach: If the kid doesn't think so already, I don't want to be the one to make him feel like there's something wrong with his size.

Now mostly I half smile and lead off with, "Okay! As I was saying about gerunds..."

There is an upside to all this: Like many women who look at Vogue or InStyle from time to time, I operate under the sneaky suspicion that, despite my healthy B.M.I., I am really a lard ass who is no less than 20 pounds overweight.

I've been in Taiwan four months and no one has called me fat. This is the greatest reassurance I have ever received that I'm not actually overweight. The fact that no one has giggled while marveling at my stomach does more for me than all the countless times my mom has scoffed, rolled her eyes, and walked away as I whimper in front of a mirror. Thanks, Taiwan.