Trip to the Glamour Studio

Yesterday I had my four-hour vanity extravaganza. Four costumes, four shoots, hot lights, and a heap of fake hair.

First they gave me a book of examples so I could pick my styles. They asked if I had a preferred side (I don't), if I had prepared poses (I didn't), and how sexy I wanted to be ("yidiandian" - a little).

The didn't allow photos inside, but here's the outside of the studio.

Next we were escorted to the enormous costume closet. On the way, we passed a bunch of boyfriends, husbands and sons watching TV. They all had that tortured-bored look. Poor James was even less fortunate, he was stuck following me around translating. I was able to communicate some, but he was pretty crucial.

My first shoot was "Chinese style." I was too bootylicious for the first qipao I tried on, so the makeup girl hauled out another. Then she sat me down, clipped a mess of fake hair to my scalp, and told me - didn't ask me, told me - she was going to put cream on my face and it would cost an extra $500NT.

Maybe if we knew the same language, maybe if I wasn't wearing a qipao, and maybe if I hadn't been in a glamour studio in Taoyuan, Taiwan - I would've protested. Instead I shrugged and said okay. It's kind of like when $13 strawberry daiquiris in novelty beakers suddenly seem like a good idea at the Bellagio. Or $16 mouse ears in Disneyland. Or maybe I'm just a sucker.

One thing I didn't think about ahead of time was the awkward factor: Wearing cheesy costumes and being asked to attempt cheesy poses in a foreign language amounts to a mildly uncomfortable situation for all involved. I don't think they see many white girls. I asked the photographer's assistant. She said they only see foreigners who marry in Taiwan and get wedding photos. Plus, I was a good eight inches taller than my photographer. He seemed intimidated. He had to stand on a stool to take my picture.

For the first two shoots (the Chinese dress, then a giant red prom dress) my photographer didn't want me to have a big smile. But I don't have a small mysterious smile. I have a full-teeth, wide-eyed grin, and then I have a smirk, and that's it.

He kept telling me not to look nervous. I kept looking nervous.

My third change was a white tube dress with a tutu skirt. My makeup lady pinned a giant white faux fur hat to my head. This was exponentially more ridiculous than my first two outfits, but I was allowed to smile, so I felt a lot more comfortable.

For the final shoot I put on this lacy pink and black dress, plus gothic wristlets and a choker. The makeup artist teased my hair into a giant mane. My photographer mimed for me to pout. He told James to tell me this was my "sad doll" shoot. I thought it was sort of Madonna circa 1985. Of course, I could've picked more natural-looking photos, but dressing up is half the fun.

I'll go back next Sunday to look at the pictures and decide which they'll put in a book for me. They'll also give me a cd, so I'll post pictures here when I receive them.

Getting Nervous

I'm getting my glamour shots on Saturday. I fear in glamour shots, like most things in life, I'll get what I paid for. Maybe I should have thrown down another Benjamin for a reputable studio in Taipei.

Either way, I expect results will be ridiculous. But I'd prefer ridiculous-cute pictures to ridiculous-sad ones.

Here are samples my studio has up on its website (photos previously posted were from all different studios). These keep me up at night. I didn't drop $2,888NT to dress up like somebody's babushka.

Rock me Amadeus?

Uh-oh.

Getting Them Done

Friday was pay day. Saturday I went to the mall and two salesladies in matching skirt suits talked me into making a deposit for a glamour photo shoot. It's hard to turn down women dressed like twins saying things like, "You eyes is so beautiful!" and "We are so happy, you are our first foreigner friend!" But really, I've been thinking about glamour shots for awhile.

Taipei and Hong Kong are the places to get them done. Taipei is preferred because it's cheaper. Some people (engaged couples) even make special trips to get them. Here are just a few of the many, many entertaining examples I found online:

I don't think I'll have any turtleneck guys unzipping my dress, and I don't plan on wearing disco pants - but I think you get the point.

For $2,888 (about $100 U.S.) I get four costume, hair and makeup changes. That's comparable to what my college graduation prints cost, and you don't get any costume changes with those. In fact, one of my four proofs was unusable: When the photographer told me to tilt my head and "gaze into the future," my lazy eye wandered astray. Glamour shots should be much more fun.

I hope the studio has four American-sized outfits. I'm bringing my own shoes.

I'm very, very, very excited.