It's raining sideways. Everything is closed. Here are my plans to entertain myself so I don't attempt seppuku with a chopstick while we're stuck inside.
1. Attempt to set up voicemail on my cellphone sans English-language user manual.
2. Finish reading The Ordeal of Elizabeth Marsh.
3. Watch Best of the Chris Rock Show.
4. Bust out my "Chinese in 500 words book" in the hopes of one day being able to order my own intestine soup.
5. Eat my fishballs for lunch, pretend they're double cheeseburgers.
6. Stream sad country songs while I rub menthol on my heat rash.
7. Write a bitter and boastful ballad about how I picked the right time not to be job hunting back home.
8. Think of ways to accidentally on purpose break James' synthesizer.
9. Sneak down to the 7-11 downstairs and buy some plum wine and not share it.
10. Convince James to let me french braid his leg hair.
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