Adventures in Taichung

James and I were at the station buying our high-speed rail tickets to Taichung before 7 a.m. Friday. I tried to stay awake for the 40-minute ride south, but staying up late watching Wild at Heart got the best of me and I slept the whole way.

Jojo was asked to give a keynote speech at an ecotourism conference at Yushan National Park. He and Joma invited James and me along. When the four of us stepped off the train we were greeted by a man with park-service green pants and betel-nut brown teeth. He drove us to the Yushan National Park building, about an hour from the train station.

We abandoned Jojo for his speech-making, and the park service dude drove Joma, James and me to ChuCheng, a small town once supported by logging, now supported by tourism.

Once supported by logging, now supported by tourism ... that's an apt description for Florence, Oregon - my "permanent" address.

Like good tourists, we went to the logging museum. I took pictures of pictures in the logging museum because they reminded me of photos I've seen of the olden-days Flo'.


The museum also had a piece of meat-shaped wood and a cabbage-shaped wood, akin to the meat-shaped rock and jade cabbage at the National Palace Museum.

Outside the museum there were several pairs of stilts. I had the opportunity to demonstrate the fruits of 11 years spent as an only child.

See how happy I am?

It's because I'm totally owning James at stilts.

Before I had to wipe poo off Billy and Ricky's asses, I spent many a summer day by myself. I walked up and down my driveway on my plastic stilts. Up and down. All alone. It was a long driveway. And here I am today with all the obnoxious winning traits of a first/only child plus a black belt in stilt walking.

This was another fun toy outside the museum, the trick was to walk in unison.


We visited a plum winery. I don't like plum wine, too sweet. They also distill liquor from plum here, which is more gag-inducing than a warm shot of your cheapest grocery-store label vodka. Horrible. I did buy some plum vinegar, though. Joma told me Asian women drink vinegar to keep their weight down. I have dim hopes of ever acquiring the figure of an Asian woman, but plum vinegar is delicious - not too bitter - so I'm going to drink a little every night. After lunch Jojo rejoined us and we drove down to Sun Moon Lake for a boat ride. Sun Moon Lake is Taiwan's biggest honeymoon destination.


At the risk of infuriating any Taiwan Touch Your Heart tourism officials who may stumble upon my blog, I was underwhelmed. I spent the summer before last in my hometown Anchorage, Alaska. Every other weekend I hiked into some new, beautiful, frigid mountainy valley with an alpine lake. The weekends I wasn't backpacking, I was driving from Anchorage to Seward to crew sail races. That drive is replete with gorgeous views of mountains and water. I've been making that drive since I was 9 months old. I'm a hard sell for lake views.

After the lake we drove to an experimental tea factory. I was hoping it would be staffed with midgets wearing feathers and body paint doing interpretive dance. Unfortunately, the only experimentation going on was with the tea itself. This particular factory was cultivating red tea to sell to Russians who will pay top-dollar for it. On our way out of the factory, the tea people gave each of us several boxes of different teas and one box each of their top tea. Jojo looked extremely uncomfortable, which makes me think that one box of tea was pretty expensive.

At dinner we were joined by three more college professors who were conference attendees. They'd all studied in the U.S. and were kind enough to converse in English at the table. When we finished eating it was dark out. The seven of us piled into a van for a two-hour ride up a twisty mountain road to our accommodations.

We spent the night in a Japanese-style lodge built in the 1920s (when Taiwan was a Japanese colony). There wasn't any heating, there were no bathroom towels, and no pillowcase covers. The bed, like a lot of Asian beds, was very hard. But there was a boss karaoke system in the common area. Priorities, right?

Two hours of withstanding hairpin turns in the backseat coupled with the change in barometric pressure gave James a splitting headache. That - or he is developing migraines. He's hoping it was the former.

James is usually exceptionally healthy. When he gets a cold, I get pneumonia. Once we went out with friends at 'SC to our favorite burrito stand and all ordered chili fries. The rest of us dashed home clutching our stomachs and squeezing our sphincters. James strolled back hunting for more food he could maybe eat off the ground since he wasn't quite full. For having such a strong constitution, he's been a sick old goat since we got here.

I went to bed feeling awesome about how much healthier I am than he. Then I got up in the middle of the night, and when I came back to bed I hit the headboard and gave myself a small black eye. I guess that makes us even.

Saturday we hiked around Lulin Mountain.

From Taichung Weekend

Pretty

Saturday night we moved down the mountain to a different Japanese-style lodge with even more uncomfortable beds tatami mats. The Japanese got sleep all wrong. In the morning my back hurt so much I tucked my knees under my chest and attempted to get another twenty minutes' shut eye in the earthquake-drill position.

I think I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese...

But before we went to sleepy-sleep, the college profs and we busted out the boss karaoke system that this Japanese lodge had as well. Taiwanese culture is very musical. I challenge you to find four random middle-aged professionals in the U.S. who can carry a tune together when handed a mic. And do so willingly.

There was a limited English selection. James and I sang "Unchatined Melody"

We got back to Nankan late this afternoon, and not before we received an open invitation to visit some of the profs in Hualien!

Check out more pictures from the weekend here.